Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They took my balls.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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