so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
