Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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