the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
