it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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