i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
