Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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