i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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