So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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