Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
