It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i need to put some appletini on your dick
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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