My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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