i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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