But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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