Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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