I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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