Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize