'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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