You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize