if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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