I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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