I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
