after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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