Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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