I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
