we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
