One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
