I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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