whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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