I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
