NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
