At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
