ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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