My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
