she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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