very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize