If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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