This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
