i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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