gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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