She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
