is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
