either way he was missing a nipple.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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