i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Randomize
