Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
