Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
