ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize