I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
