I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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