From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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