When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
