I think my vagina is haunted
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
