this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
