Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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