shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
