i permit you to call me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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