I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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