I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No subtext here. People are naked.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
