He is like the real live version of the state fair..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
