Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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