Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
