i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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