Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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