he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
