well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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