I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
