Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
