Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
