and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
