Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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