Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
