come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
