I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
