Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
