Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
