I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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